Love the One You’re With

Today’s post is an impromptu one.  While working on this week’s scheduled posts I sort of got in a rut and started the dreaded “I’m not good enough.  She does so much more in a day.  She is so much better at this than me.”  You know? The ridiculous pity party.  The comparison game.  The driven by insecurities, downright ridiculous head game .  It’s astounding to me how these thoughts seem to creep in at the most unexpected times.   It typically is a result of one mere question to myself.  “Am I good enough?”  Having admitted these feelings with a group of girlfriends several months ago, I was shocked to discover that every single one of them confessed……  They too fall victim to this more often than they’d like to admit. Some even falling into depression as a result of it. And even more shocking?  We ALL admitted that we felt alone in this. That most people don’t experience this. We proceeded to share real and very raw testimony of all of the body shaming, the sadness, the days when the voices  had us convinced we were failures, doing LIFE all wrong.

At some point in my little pity party recently, the thought came to mind.  I was listening to Pandora and the song “Love the One You’re With” was playing and I had a real AHA moment! While the song is referring to the singer’s lover being far away and he is forced to love the one he’s with, I began to think of this verse differently.  You see, this mind, this life, this body of mine…… it is MINE.  It is the only one I have and the only one I’ll ever have.  And while I’ve given myself quite the number of pep talks in my day, “love the one you’re with” just may be my favorite one yet.

I may not have the perfect smile, the perfect complexion, the perfect body, that I’m not gonna lie, I’ve longed for from time to time.  I am not one who is disciplined, overly organized, motivated every day.  In fact, I’m more of a plan things as I go.  Live in the moment.  Spontaneous.  You get the point.  Do you know how many times I’ve wondered “what is wrong with me?”  I should be more like Suzy, she’s got such great routine.  She works out 3 times a week, is successful in her career, her kids are so……..

Here’s the thing that really stood out as I started on this new 5 word pep talk of mine- Love the One You’re With. I’ve been told countless times in life to accept myself the way I am.  I’ve read the self help books, blog posts on the topic.  And while they resonated with me, boosted my confidence temporarily, as we’ve already established but I’ll reiterate once more, the “I’m not good enoughs” always come back at some point.  There was something about this new way of looking at though, that has been working for me!

I’m no motivational speaker.  I don’t know if you, the reader, will relate to this.  My hopes are certainly that someone will read and it is precisely what you needed today.

I’m not perfect.  I’ve always known this and yet for some strange reason, I hold myself to such ridiculous high standards! No longer though.  The insanity has to stop.  And I’m starting with this blog post.  Being transparent, real.  Honest.

I am me.  I am wired differently than her, and that’s okay.  I’m not meant to be anything but who I am.  While there is always room for improvement, with everyONE and every THING in life, it is perfectly fine to accept me just the way I am.  Maybe one day I’ll have a bikini bod, a better smile, I’ll be more organized, more athletic…… but if I’m not?  I’m going to LOVE THE ONE I’M WITH.

Until next time,

Selena XO



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  1. Selena, this is fantastic. Wouldn’t it be incredible if we all could start thinking this way!! Being real and authentic is so much better for everyone.
    Thank you for the wonderful words.

    1. It means a lot to me that you read and offered such a kind compliment on the post! Thank you! Being real isn’t always easy but with this platform of mine, I felt led to do so today! Thanks again, Trisha, for the support and encouragement!

    1. I am SO happy to hear that you loved it, Kim. And that you are working on the things I am as well. Contentment is truly a choice and a very difficult one indeed!!! XO

    1. Julie!! It means A LOT to me that you stopped by! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and I appreciate your kind words. Love you more! 😉

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